I saw him by the side of the road while I was taking an evening stroll through my neighborhood. He was small, dirty and all alone. The sight of him sitting there moved me deeply.

I decided to take him home.

I cleaned him up and made him as comfortable as possible. After removing the dirt, my new pet shown with a gray and brown-speckled splendor. He was quite small in size and rather round. I named him Herbie, because he reminded me of my Uncle Herbie, who was also small and round.

Herbie was the most obedient pet I ever owned.

He never complained or whined. When I watched TV, he would sit by my side and silently watch with me. I tried to teach him tricks. Herbie learned to “stay” really well and sometimes he would “roll over” (with a little prodding from me).

Yes sir, Herbie was the best pet rock a guy could ever own!