Fast Food Fairy Tale, Chapter 05: The Ambassador and the Sliders


There were many other fun things to do at the White Castle for the young Wendy. Among her favorite activities was to slide down the wide banisters of the castle’s large marble stairway which led up to the throne room. She was often seen sailing down the banisters, which she called her “sliders.” However, this game was put to an immediate end on the day she over-slid her slider and crashed into the royal ambassador of the island of Quiznos. The ambassador and his entourage had arrived at Dryvthru that day, having sailed many days in the most agreeable weather. As the routine busyness of his job usually prevented him from spending much time in the outdoors, the Ambassador reveled in the sunshine and sea air, spending as much time out on deck as possible. However, his normally pallid skin was unaccustomed to so much sunlight. By the time his ship pulled into the Port of Plees-Comagin, his exposed skin had taken on a dusty mauve color. When he finally arrived at the White Castle, his skin hue had deepened to amber suede. Wincing in pain, the Ambassador entered the castle and made his way to the marble staircase just as a small girl, red pigtails flying, launched herself off the banister. The anguished cry of the Ambassador could be heard throughout the castle. Wendy was sympathetic. She tended to burn easily too.

“Mmmmm,” murmured Wendy, as she knelt beside the writhing Ambassador, gently patting his ever-reddening face, “toasty.” She would have imparted more words of comfort, but just then she was yanked up by one of the palace guard and dragged into the throne room.

“We’ll have no more of this!” Thundered the King as he paced in front of Wendy. Normally an even-tempered man, Wendy was stunned by the outburst. “Knocking over the Ambassador to Quiznos will not help us in our treaty re-negotiations. It’s important that we maintain friendly relations with his island. Let us hope that he is a forgiving man. In the meantime, I forbid you from sliding down anymore banisters!

“No more sliders?” Wendy was aghast. She had never been forbidden from doing anything.

“No more sliders,” confirmed the King.

“But…but…” stammered Wendy, “sliders are what I crave!”

“What you…crave?”

“Well…” Wendy was unsure just how to convey to the King the thrill she got from the sliders. Life wasn’t always fun at the castle, and for an imaginative and energetic girl, the little bits of excitement were what she needed, or in her words, craved. Although she couldn’t quite express herself in words, the Burger King seemed to understand what she felt. To be perfectly honest, there were times that the King himself would’ve have liked to have taken a ride down one of the banisters. After a silent moment, the King sighed and sat down on his throne.

“I think what you need, Wendy,” spoke the King, “is an adventure.”

“An adventure? Me?” Wendy hadn’t expected this response.

“I don’t mean anything dangerous, of course. But there is a whole kingdom to explore. And you are well known among the people, so no one would dare lay a threatening hand on you. To do so will bring the wrath of the kingdom down upon them.”

“But…my Uncle. He would never agree to let me go off on an adventure, especially by myself.”

“I will speak to your Uncle,” the King said with a small smile, “and I would not have you travel alone. Do you think I’m mad? The Queen would lock me in a freezer.” At this, the King clapped his hands and into the throne room stepped Baskin and Robin.

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