(There is a knock at the door)
Hayes: Now who is it?
Harrison: Come in.
(The door opens to reveal 23rd President Benjamin Harrison)
Benjamin Harrison: (To William Henry Harrison) Is this a bad time?
W.H. Harrison: (Sighing) Ben, it’s always a bad time here.
Pierce: What is he doing here?
Tyler: (Looking at his notes) Actually, this is next up on our agenda.
Pierce: What is?
W.H. Harrison: (With a hint of pride) The initiation of my grandson into the group.
Pierce: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Since when are we accepting family members?
W.H. Harrison: Since Ben is the 23rd President. Besides, we never get to do anything together.
Pierce: Then take him fishing. He’s not joining.
Fillmore: What are you getting so worked up about?
Pierce: It’s nepotism, that’s what it is!
Hayes: I don’t see a problem with letting him in. He’s got a nice beard. Besides, we’re in the market for a new treasurer anyway.
Fillmore: I…hey, wait a minute…
Hayes: (To B. Harrison) Tell me, Mr. President, would you trust President Harding with any sum of money?
B. Harrison: What? That’s crazy!
Hayes: You’re hired!
Fillmore: (Standing) Now just a minute!
W.H. Harrison: (Shouting over Fillmore to Pierce) If this were a government position, I’d agree with you! But this is just a club! I have no special treatment to give him!
Pierce: Well then, maybe I should just invite my grandkids to join too. Oh wait, I don’t have grandkids…
W.H. Harrison: And how is that my fault?
B. Harrison: I think I’ll go check out the Cool Facial Hair Society. (Leaves the room)
Fillmore: (Pointing at Hayes) Look, I’m the League treasurer…
Hayes: (Sarcastically) And you’re doing a splendid job! By the way, how much money don’t we have right now?
Fillmore: It wasn’t my fault!
Hayes: I swear, you’re worse than Congress!
Fillmore: Take that back!
W.H. Harrison: (To Tyler) I have a feeling that this meeting is about to come to an end.
Tyler: Just about…
(Fillmore picks up his chair in preparation to throw it)
Tyler: …Aaaaand now we’re done.
W.H. Harrison: (Slamming down his gavel) Meeting adjourned!
Tyler: Duck!
(Harrison and Tyler drop down as Fillmore’s chair goes flying)
Dexy's Midnight Ramblings 