Fast Food Fairy Tale, Chapter 01: The Burger King

Once upon a time, (in a land that could only be dreamed up after eating a bad burrito before bed), there dwelt the highly caloric kingdom of Dryvthru. Perched upon the highest hill of the kingdom stood the mighty White Castle. It was there that the kingdom was ruled by the kind and powerful Burger King and his lovely wife the Dairy Queen. Though their reign was for the most part peaceful and prosperous, occasionally outside forces tried to invade Dryvthru. In fact, the Burger King had recently returned from a great battle against the wild forest-dwelling vegetarians of the west. It was a fierce struggle. The vegetarians screamed “Meat is murder” for three hours before the Burger King courageously brought out the portable grills and began to make Whoppers. At which point, the vegetarians dropped their tofu burgers and returned to the forest.

“Have it your way!” Bellowed the King to the retreating army.

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