Tales of a Library Wonk, Part Two

Typical librarian reaction to the question: “Do you have any books?”

After 15 years of employment, the library continues to provide me with little jewels of humor and insight…Part One was getting pretty lengthy, and so, onto Part Two!


  • A young boy came up to one of my co-workers and requested “The Life of Pi,” pronouncing Pi as “Pee.” When she tried to correct him, he insisted that he wanted “The Life of Pee.” Perhaps it’s a potty training book…?


  • As he tried to leave, a boy managed to tangle himself in the wires of one of our preschool game computers. A little girl was standing nearby, and as he fought to free himself, he began to plead to her: “Help me, my friend! Help me!”


  • A three-year old was really excited for Halloween, as she explained to one of my co-workers: “I just love your Halloween decorations. I love Halloween. I’m going to be a mermaid…like Ariel…you know that big mean Ursula? I don’t like her…”


  • Two little boys discussing marriage in the preschool play area. Boy One is insisting that he had gotten married (much to Boy Two’s disbelief).

 Boy Two: “Was it yucky when you kissed?”

 Boy One: “Well, SHE said it was yucky.”

Little do these kids know that this similar conversation is played out by men in bars all over the world.


  • When asked not to sit on our Duplos play table, a boy replied “I was sleep-sitting.” (Incidentally, sleep-sitting was how I got through some of my college classes…)


  • In overhearing a conversation between two children at our department’s Duplo table, one of the children blurted out “He’s dead! He’s dead, honey! He’s dead!” I’m not sure what precipitated this outburst. I just hope it wasn’t some sort of confession.


  • A little girl talking to one of my co-workers: “Librarian? I am very good. I am like a butterfly. I like to twirl. Watch! Librarian? I think the library is lovely. I really like what you do here.” Who could ask for a higher compliment?


  • A fifth-grade boy asking for a particular DVD (see if you can guess which movie): “This really old movie. It starts with the letter ‘P.’ It has dinosaurs. And the guy on the cover is wearing a pizza. And it’s old. I watched it on Netflix & my aunt said it was old. Oh, they drive cars with their feet.”


  • Overheard in the Youth Services Department: Girl (to another girl): “I recognize that you’re a girl because of your shoes. I’m a girl too!”


Me: *Sneezes*

Little Girl: (running up, concerned) Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, just a sneeze.

Little Girl: Okay…bless you!


  • Child whispering to one of our game computers: “Bye-bye, computer. I’ll see you again, my friend.”


  • You know you’re getting old when…An exchange between a coworker and a child at the Youth Services Desk:

Child: (looking into a bowl of giveaway patches) What are these?

Coworker: Iron-on patches

Child: What’s an iron?


  • Overheard by a staff member:

Boy 1: “Do you live in (name of town)?”

Boy 2: “No silly, I live in my house!”


  • Another overheard conversation:

Boy 1: “Who is your favorite friend?”

Boy 2: “I don’t really have any friends.”

Boy 1: “Can I be your friend?”

Boy 2: “Yes!”

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