Harrison: (Turning to Tyler) What’s next on the agenda?
Tyler: (Looking down at his papers) The League Treasurer President Fillmore’s report on the progress of our fundraising campaign.
Fillmore: (Clearing his throat nervously) Ah, yes, the fundraising. Well…it hasn’t quite been as, um, fruitful as I had hoped…so far.
Harrison: What happened to the President’s Day bake sale two weeks ago? Didn’t we get anything from that?
Fillmore: We did at first…
Harrison: At first?
Fillmore: We were doing pretty well actually. But I had been drinking a lot of coffee that day, and well…I needed to use the little president’s room. So I found another President to cover the table for me.
Harrison: Which President?
Fillmore: (Sighing) Warren G. Harding.
(Everyone around the table collectively groans.)
Harrison: You should have known better! You can’t trust that man around money.
Fillmore: Look, I knew he was a bit shady, but I didn’t think he’d walk off with the entire till!
Hayes: He took all of the money?
Fillmore: All he left was a note saying that he had an emergency poker game to attend.
(Another round of groaning by everyone.)
Harrison: Did you make any more money from the rest of the baked goods?
Fillmore: (Hanging his head) They were all gone too.
Harrison: What?! Why would Harding…?
Fillmore: I don’t think Harding was responsible for that.
Harrison: Then who was?
Fillmore: Well, when I returned to the table…President Taft was standing nearby with a satisfied smile on his face…
Harrison: (Shaking his head and muttering to himself) I don’t believe this…
Fillmore: (Indignant) It’s getting to where you can’t even trust a President!
Harrison: So…does anyone have any new ideas on how to raise money?
Pierce: (with a smirk) Raise taxes?
Fillmore: (with a sneer) Oh, that’s hilarious…
Harrison: Will you two stop?